Chapter Six: Surprisingly Uneventful Editing

Project: TFI

Looked at: Chapter 6

Starting word count: 80,915

Ending word count: 80,878

Gain/Loss: -37

Biggest problem: Surprisingly, there wasn't one. The action, I thought, was solid the first time around.

Favorite line: "She shook her head, trying to get her eyes to focus and to get herself to concentrate. Jana had her hand on the lock release. She pressed it as hard as she could, with barely enough energy to stand. It didn't release; she was too weak. Jana tried again, throwing her body weight into the movement. She slipped on something wet on the floor, hit her head, and blacked out." –Page 65

Daily WTF: "The force of hitting it threw Jana forward, creating an intense amount of pain as she gasped for air while her harness nearly strangled her." –Page 62

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Okay, so my favorite line still needs work. But the point is that I connect well with it.

The WTF was changed to: "The force of hitting it threw Jana forward. Her harness nearly strangled her, and she gasped for air through the pain." Which, I think, works better.

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised once more at how little I changed. Victoria will be looking over this stuff in a week or so, so we'll see what she thinks. I got some great comments from her on chapter one. It's just so hard to look at something you've written and see the places that might not be clear enough for someone else. So, thanks Vic!