A query nark, and other things.

Project: TFI

Looked at: Chapter Two

Starting word count: 80,014

Ending word count: 80,421

Gain/Loss: +407

Biggest Problem: Needed to flesh out some of the sections a little more. Jana wasn't quite as snarky in this chapter.

Favorite line:
"He stood behind his desk looking down at Jana, beefy face and obscene mustache giving him a look resembling a walrus. If only he had a top hat." –Page 28

Daily WTF: "The SCORPION team. That is, the S-311M Central Organization for the Removal of Potential Infectious Outbreaks and Nosopoetic anomalies," he rattled off. –Page 24

______________________________________________________________________________________

If you're wondering what's up with the favorite line for today, it's a reference to Alice in Wonderland. As for today's WTF line, the acronym system in this book is meant to be a bit cliché. I put that one in there because when writing this for the first time, I came up with all these words for the acronyms that made me say, "Yeah! That's awesome! That sounds so darn cool!"

I refused to change the words even when the fluidity was a challenge. I have a running joke with a friend about this. "And that's the PHOENIX team. Don't ask me what it is, because the author couldn't come up with a decent X word. Bit embarrassing, so we just don't talk about it."

But gosh darn it, I was determined! Eventually I ended up making it into a mech model, and it played a rather important part later on. Thankfully, it worked out this time.

What I'm reading now: The Hellgate trilogy by Mel Odom, based off of the game by Flagship Studios. (Which, by the way, could have been amazing, but just wasn't.) It was suggested to a friend of mine who currently has a full reading list. I suspect that I'm screening the book for him, but whatever. It started off great, until the character got killed off and I found out it's his son the book is actually about.

That aside, I'm not hating it. It's good enough that I continue to read it. It keeps me entertained, and I like where he went with the technology for the Templars. So far I've gotten about ¾ through the first book, just reading en route to work. (No, not while I'm driving. That would be irresponsible. But then again, it is Utah. What could possibly happen?)


Looked at Nathan Bransford's website more in-depth today. I've followed his blog for a while, but never delved into the forums. I really like what he's done with it. I signed up and took a look at the section in there for feedback. I was both surprised and happy to see that the forum community was so helpful (in the right ways). I did a critique on one of the queries posted on there, as well as a slightly older version of one of my own queries before I revised it. I'm curious to see what will be said about it.

I noticed while looking at this site and others like it that many people like to allude to the bad guys without giving any information about them, or who they are. They think it creates suspense, but I think it's just confusing. A little mystery is good, but you need to give the reader enough to sink their teeth into. If you have your whole query talking about Mary Gretchen looking for a birthday gift for the devilish pixie living in her sock drawer and then mention at the end, "and now they must run from the watchers to keep the Purple Scarf of Flamboyancy from falling into the wrong hands…" It's only going to lead to a resounding "WTF" from me. Who are the watchers? What's their aim? Why are they so dangerous? And most importantly, what on earth would they do with the PSoF?